Fashion Trends

I fully realize that fashion trends are geared toward the young and thin, but when the majority of the population is verging on obesity, there are some fads that I have to complain about.

First on my list are low rise pants. I did the hip-hugger thing back in the 60's and 70's. It wasn't a good look then, and it isn't now. Women who go around with their muffin tops flowing over the waistbands of those kinds of pants are just disgusting. Don't they have full length mirrors? This trend makes it hard for people, who know better than to wear low rise pants, to find pants that fit at the waistline. I don't care if you call them mom jeans, they look better!

Next are scarves! The long fringy kind that wrap around the neck four or five times. In California! In 110 degree summer weather! Are they nuts? Of course, this look is shown on teeny little women in Daisy Duke shorts and tank tops who probably never break a sweat. My hair never dries, I get so hot in the summer. If I had to wear a scarf in that kind of weather, I'd hang myself with it.

Third is thong underwear. Now this is where my daughters and I really disagree. They love thong underwear, but I just can't understand them. I spent years trying to find panties that won't ride up into my crack, but they are actually paying for the ones that do? They say my panties are industrial strength underwear, but you just can't beat those Skimp Skamps by Bali. They do not ride up, there is no panty line, and they are smooth and comfy.

And finally, hoodies. I HATE hoodies. One cannot find a jacket without a stupid hood attached, so I cut them off. Much better that way. No one ever wears the hood up on their head except the uni-bomber, so what is the point? It's just another layer of material to add to the heat index. I saw a skinny little student yesterday in a hoodie, with a scarf around her neck, low rise shorts with her belly hanging out, a high rise top which barely covered her boobs, and flip flops. Stylish.

Of course, this rant on fashion trends is driven by menopause that never seems to end. I get hot flashes that could energize the entire Central Valley. My poor husband is actually an eating disordered fashion model in disguise, so he is always cold. I turn on all the fans, kick the A/C down to 70, and he huddles in his office with a space heater and three pairs of socks on. Maybe I should get him some hoodies and a couple long fringy scarves.