The Honey-Do Lists

Dan is anxiously awaiting for my retirement to begin because he realizes how much he has needed adult supervision. And, he is especially looking forward to the honey-do lists, so he doesn't wander aimlessly around the house. As a computer science professor, he teaches four nights a week, so he is at home all day with nothing to do except play his stupid computer game, polish and shine his Corvette, and nap. He yammers about lesson plans, grading and reading papers, dealing with students, in addition to his work with the faculty union, but I’m not so sure about all that.

I think the first thing on his honey-do list is to clean out his office. He has the very first book published listing websites on the Internet, hundreds of those old 3x3 floppy disks (why do we continue to call them “floppies” when they were really very rigid?), several manuals for out-dated computer applications, stacks and stacks of papers (he files vertically), dead computers and monitors, file cabinet drawers full of ancient invoices and cancelled checks. But, every time I bring up cleaning his office, he starts whimpering and goes fetal.

As I left the house this morning, Dan was explaining to the cat that this was their last day of solitude. "Mommy will be home with us every day, all day from now on, Teddy." The cat's eyes got huge as if to say "What?! I won't have the bed all to myself!? Or the couch?" Dan said "Yeah, my one and your nine lives are over as we know them." Well! I was going to cook gourmet meals and make special kitty treats, but I'm not so sure about that now either.

I don't have much to do today here at work, so I'll just continue to work on the honey-do lists.

Packing Up My Office

Dan is coming this afternoon to help pack up and take home the personal possessions I have collected in my office since starting this job in January 2003. I have been taking things home gradually, so it is looking really bare.

It was very hard to take down the collage of grandbabies photos on my door, but I'll find places at home to create more. All that is left are all the binders containing my projects and tasks. I'm the queen of binders. If I get more than two or three pieces of paper on a project, I create a binder for it. I have two more bookshelves in my office than most people in this building because of my thing for binders.

Someone asked if I was feeling nervous about retiring. It seemed like a strange thing to ask. Excited and relieved more accurately describes how I feel. I know it won't really sink in for several weeks that I don't have a job anymore. People have said I will get bored, which might happen, but I don't think so for quite awhile.

I have turned in my keys, my CSU Stanislaus email address will close tomorrow, and my parking permit runs out July 1, so the ties are slowly being cut. I will miss my boss and coworkers, but otherwise, I feel no regrets about starting this new phase in my life. (Ha! Next blog will be about how Dan feels about it :>)!

Mulch vs. Rock

So, yesterday was stressful because my hubby and I disagreed on finishing off the backyard with mulch or to go for a complete change and use rock. Since I want the backyard finished by the 4th (having a family BBQ that day,) I wanted mulch, especially since we have half of it already done in mulch. Also, none of us could handle putting in rock, especially my Hubby, so I won. Hubby pouted and hardly spoke the whole time we were at Home Depot purchasing the mulch and trim stuff. Then he really put on his hair shirt when he heaved 24 bags of mulch into the back of the Durango. Poor thing, its tires were nearly flat, it was so weighed down. The Durango, not Hubby. Hubby had to take a nap when we got home! Well, so did I, to de-stress. The wine came later.

Today, I plan to start the mulching project. Hubby got out all the implements I will need and gave me instructions on how to put down the edging stuff. If I get this task finished without crippling myself, it will be a miracle. My arthritic knee is twinging just at the thought.

Tomorrow, I will go out to select shrubs and plants. There are so many I would love to have, but I think I will get some horsetail bamboo (I know, it spreads, but I'll contain it) and other ornamental grasses, jasmine, gardenias, and succulents. These are things which have survived well in other parts of my yard, so I have high hopes for them in the backyard.

We have lived in this house since November 1992 and we are just now finishing the back yard. No hurrying to get anything done at our place!

Fashion Trends

I fully realize that fashion trends are geared toward the young and thin, but when the majority of the population is verging on obesity, there are some fads that I have to complain about.

First on my list are low rise pants. I did the hip-hugger thing back in the 60's and 70's. It wasn't a good look then, and it isn't now. Women who go around with their muffin tops flowing over the waistbands of those kinds of pants are just disgusting. Don't they have full length mirrors? This trend makes it hard for people, who know better than to wear low rise pants, to find pants that fit at the waistline. I don't care if you call them mom jeans, they look better!

Next are scarves! The long fringy kind that wrap around the neck four or five times. In California! In 110 degree summer weather! Are they nuts? Of course, this look is shown on teeny little women in Daisy Duke shorts and tank tops who probably never break a sweat. My hair never dries, I get so hot in the summer. If I had to wear a scarf in that kind of weather, I'd hang myself with it.

Third is thong underwear. Now this is where my daughters and I really disagree. They love thong underwear, but I just can't understand them. I spent years trying to find panties that won't ride up into my crack, but they are actually paying for the ones that do? They say my panties are industrial strength underwear, but you just can't beat those Skimp Skamps by Bali. They do not ride up, there is no panty line, and they are smooth and comfy.

And finally, hoodies. I HATE hoodies. One cannot find a jacket without a stupid hood attached, so I cut them off. Much better that way. No one ever wears the hood up on their head except the uni-bomber, so what is the point? It's just another layer of material to add to the heat index. I saw a skinny little student yesterday in a hoodie, with a scarf around her neck, low rise shorts with her belly hanging out, a high rise top which barely covered her boobs, and flip flops. Stylish.

Of course, this rant on fashion trends is driven by menopause that never seems to end. I get hot flashes that could energize the entire Central Valley. My poor husband is actually an eating disordered fashion model in disguise, so he is always cold. I turn on all the fans, kick the A/C down to 70, and he huddles in his office with a space heater and three pairs of socks on. Maybe I should get him some hoodies and a couple long fringy scarves.

I am Finally Retiring

I took a few years out when my kids were small, but I have worked every day since high school, so it is with great excitement that I will finally retire at the end of this month. I have a million housy projects I want to do, books to read, movies to watch, and two gloriously sweet and smart grandchildren to spoil. Oh, yes, I want to sleep in! Getting up in the mornings has become so hard for me. I've always been a morning person, but in the last few years, aging has changed that.

Since I announced my retirement about six months ago, I've been counting how many Mondays I have left. As of today, I have just one more. That sounds very good. Of course, I'm very superstitious. I'm worried I'll get hit by a train coming home on June 30 and not live to enjoy my retirement. I had a dream last night that HR came to tell me that as of today I had to transfer to the Library. I was told the job I've held for that last six and a half years in the College of Business Dean's office was illegal! That I should never have been given the job! Boy, did I have a snit over that! I guess my brain is having trouble believing I really won't have to go to work anymore. As my husband says, I'm FIIGMO! (Yeah, you have to have been in the Air Force to understand that one. Something about "...I got my orders!") So, let 'em just try to transfer me to the Library.